Tag Archives: God

Discovering a path out of a hidden pain

By Lauren Smith
Los Angeles, Calif.

Illustration by Semaj Earl

Illustration by Semaj Earl

Hi. My name is Lauren. You probably don’t know me or ever will, but I hope what I have to say to you will have an impact on you, maybe even change your life.

I’m the girl in class who raised her hand when the teacher asked a question. I got good grades, participated in school clubs, and make friends with almost everyone. I never get in trouble. I have never done drugs or gotten drunk. I am what you might call a “goody-goody.”

Even with this “perfect” life, I harbored a deep emotional pain. I hated myself. My pain was on the inside, invisible to the world. I felt the need to please everyone and to make everyone like me. I felt absolutely worthless when I did not succeed. I often thought, “Who can love me? I always mess things up.”  Continue reading