By Sacdiya Rashid

In my 17 years of living, one especially important lesson I’ve learned is that patriarchy is inherently entwined in how we speak. 

My first encounter with patriarchal ideas began on the first day of fourth grade. It’s an understatement to say I walked in ecstatic. Orientation has always been my favorite day. 

English is my second language; Somali was my first. So when chatter in the class slowly settled down, and my teacher introduced herself as Miss, I was confused. Miss? I thought it was Mrs.? Or Ms.? 

To answer both your question and mine, the difference between the three is marital status. Mrs. is a married woman; Ms. is generally an unmarried woman. Well, that’s the end. Thanks for reading… is what I would say if the distinction didn’t linger in my nine-year-old brain, creating a fixation none of my peers shared.

Lo and behold, the origins of this terminology derive from historical language. According to the University of Cambridge, “‘Mistress’ is the root word of both of the abbreviations ‘Mrs.’ and ‘Miss,’ just as ‘Mr.’ is an abbreviation of ‘Master.’”

Even before understanding the historical significance behind the terminology, I always wondered why women were identified based on their relationship status while men weren’t. Only women’s titles emphasize their connections to men rather than their honorific and name, which takes away the purpose.

Few people deny that patriarchal ideas exist in our language, but many critics argue that it’s too late for anyone to do anything about it. A common claim among many English speakers essentially boils down to “Okay, now what?” My answer is that it’s never too late to inspire change. The first step is clear: raising awareness.

If I hadn’t learned about the difference between honorifics in men and women on that day in fourth grade, I wouldn’t have even acknowledged the impact linguistics play in our lives. Awareness can be the difference between being negligent and making a difference. You can make an impact, one word at a time. It takes a single candle to light thousands. Be that candle.